Wednesday, March 12, 2014

a week after i met my son

Those of you who read this blog may remember my post about getting pregnant. Well, on February 23rd at 10:46 in the morning, Hugo Oliver Barboza made his way into this world.

I took these photos a week and half ago and have tried, repeatedly, in the limited free time I have to write a post that accurately sums up how I feel about my son and about this crazy, emotional, sleep-deprived time. But, unfortunately, words totally escape me right now. I am about as un-articulate as it comes, my friends.
So, instead, I've decided to give you some bullet points:

•This whole parenthood thing? This thing where you love your child in the most indescribable way? Yeah. I get that now. The love is huge and all-encompassing.

•All those things that Joe and I did for YEARS and didn't think twice about-- going on dates, leaving town spontaneously, staying in bed for as long as we wanted, getting at least 8 hours of sleep, having ample amounts of down time-- well, I can honestly say that we totally took those things for granted. And I NEVER. WILL. AGAIN.

•Breast feeding is one of the hardest, most frustrating things I have ever done. I keep getting told it gets easier, so I'm holding on to that and praying it's true.

•Pre-baby, I never understood how parents of newborns seemed to be so short on time. Now I get it.

•When your hormones crash a few days after giving birth, you can expect you will cry about EVERYTHING. I cried because I wasn't pregnant anymore (WTF?!) I cried because I loved my son so much. I cried because my doctor had been so nice to me during the birth. I cried because Hugo was only a few days old and yet time was already passing too quickly. I cried because I felt so completely and enormously vulnerable. I cried because the sky was blue, (not really, but you get the point.)

That's it for now. I'm sure I'll have more thoughts later.
Enjoy the photos in the meantime...



Brooke (Crackers on the Couch) said...

Your little man is stunning. It does all get better. Congratulations again!

Unknown said...

Such lovely, precious images!

ZWP said...

Amazing images Clare, thanks so much for sharing such an intense moment of your life. The pictures are beautiful, with life, fragility and that other thing, the one that has no name but a face: your baby boy... lots of love from Switzerland take care

AmyRuth said...

Thank you Mommy and Daddy for sharing your amazing story and also for the most lovely images of the new star in your universe. While life will never be like before it will always be more sparkly. Love and best wishes
Amy Schleider

I absolutely love your photos of your son.

Joan Leonard said...

Clare, I love that you share from your heart. Your truth is a gift to me. The photos are beautiful and speak of your and Joe's wonder and love.

Jenny said...

Yes....Indeed. Non-parents will NEVER....I repeat...NEVER understand what having a newborn in the house is like. EVER.
Welcome to the club of Biological continuation.
Hugo is beautiful. Wish I had photos like these of Thea...I remember those first few days nine and half years later, like it was today.
Be well to all three of you. (and Nina, of course).

Joe Heslin said...

Hey Clare,

So great. How convenient to have a world-class photographer as a mother. Of course, it looks like Hugo doesn't need a lot of help in the handsome department. Take care and you'll probably want to snug that seatbelt just a smidge, it's going to be a wild ride.

-Joe Heslin

Donna Hopkins said...

Clare, I'm new to your blog, so I went back and read your post on finding out your were pregnant. Congratulations, your son is beautiful! I have two sons who are 10 years apart in age, and we love to tell our youngest son that he is the best surprise we ever received. While your food photography is stunning, those pictures will never compare with the images of your son and and husband - so much love it spills over.

Kathleen said...

Hi Clare, I met you last year while assisting you & Becky with a workshop. (Well, doing dishes... :) ) I've followed your blog since. Congrats!!! He is just darling.

In that newborn foggy sort of way, I very much remember those feelings. It was a giant blur of beauty, challenge, vulnerability, desperation and sweetness. All wrapped up together.

Wishing you good humor and plenty of rest! ~Kathleen

wendy@chezchloe said...

Wow- big congratulations to you! It's funny this blog thing. I've met you only a couple times (several years ago at that...) yet I feel very happy for you as if I saw you last week.
Birth and parenting will provide the most incredible span of rational and irrational emotions- enjoy them all. cheers... wendy t

Shannon Oslick said...


I Seriously LAUGHED OUT LOUD multiple times while reading this post.

Miss you!